When Steve and I broke up, I transferred from the Two Bedroom that we had shared, into a One Bedroom. It was shabby, and I wish I could have stayed in the Two, but I couldn't afford it alone. I tolerated it for a little while and then Troy offered to share his apartment with me, and because his one bedroom was much better, I moved in. I was there about two months

In April, shortly after my breakup I came out to my car one afternoon after work to find a note on it. It was from a guy who had seen me in the store and thought I was cute. It had a phone number on it. The number led to a guy named Nathan and we hit it off well. He was a gorgeous guy. .As I think back, he kinda reminds me of what I think Dean Cain would have looked like at 17. (YES, he was 17, but I asked his mother's permission.) We dated for about a month. Then his 17 year old roaming kicked in, and he decided he was too young to be tied down to one person. I sometimes wonder what happened to him.

In June, I met a guy named Chris from Jackson, MS and we dated for a bit. I moved from Troy's to an apartment in Vicksburg with Chris, and went to work for Rainbow Casino. Looking back, I did this is haste and didn't give Troy alot of notice before doing so. "Lust" will make you do funny things. Chris talked me into letting a co-workers of ours be a third roommate and things looked good. What I didn't know was that they were also playing around while I was at work. I came home early one Sunday afternoon from a shopping trip, and they were at it, in our bedroom. Chris told me that night, that he wanted to be with the other guy, and I moved out 4 days later. It was September 30th.

There are somethings in your life that you never forget. One of those is having to admit that you have no place to turn but home. This was one of those times. I loved my job at the casino, and literally broke down when I told my boss that I had to leave. She said she understood and told me that I had a job anytime I wanted to come back. I moved back home to my mothers house in Aberdeen. It was one of the saddest days of my life. My stepdad and his friend came and moved me home. My stepdad never asked any questions about what was going on with us three living together, or why I was crying so much. I think he knew, but respected me enough not to ask. I went into shutdown mode, and didn't leave my mother's house for about a month. It was around this time that I started playing on AOL, and mIRC©.

In November, I got my first taste of "real life" with my first labor job at Lucky Star Industries (NAFTA victim) and began doing laundering for Levi's Jeans©. I learned alot about jeans and how they get different colors, and patterns. It was around this time that I met another woman who has had a big place in my life. She and I began to hang out alot, and she was the first person to come right up to me and ask "Are you Gay?" It shocked me so much, I just matter of factly said, "Yes." and that was the beginning of a wonderful friendship. I think I credit her with making me feel that it was okay to tell people if they asked and to not be ashamed no matter what. I worked there for about a year until I decided to go to California for two weeks and they wouldn't let me off. So in my normal impulsive way, I quit.

In late 1995, I went to California to meet two friends that I had been conversing with on mIRC©. They flew me to Palm Springs for 4 days. It was amazing. While I was there I made the acquaintance of a guy who lived in LA and we hit it off. I got the urge to run and when he made the offer, I decided to go see what living in California was like. That lasted a whole two weeks, enough said.

I came home and in January 1996, went to work for Amoco in Amory, MS as a Pump Jockey.